Pete is the dude. At least he could have been. Pete’s overqualified and

underappreciated for all the shit he does. He runs a coffee shop, he runs after his

“not just a tiny grown up” daughter. He runs away from his former prom date

whenever she comes lurking around. Generally the only “Dumbledore” to Pete’s

lady Voldemort is his good friend and neighbor Alice, who lives above the coffee

shop, on a cloud with angels. No, seriously. They’re all like Victoria’s Secret

Angels or some shit. It’s disgusting. They’re the worst. She hates them.

Anyway! With all of these things to do and all these people chasing after him,

Pete never really had a chance to be the dude. Instead, Pete’s the man.

Zooey is eight, going on 80, minus about 40. She’s not OLD, and she’s definitely

not an actual grown up, but people forget sometimes. The kid’s sharp. When

she’s not coloring, napping, or taking Xavier for walks, Zooey is protector of the

realm at Mug Life. She keeps the show running and from behind her magic

counter, she mans Castle Register and keeps the white walker customers at bay.

She’s the Tinkerbell to Pete’s Pan. Tink can either be your best friend or worst enemy, depending on who you are and whether she’s had enough coffee and nicotine that day. She’s Zooey’s godmama (which she’s shockingly fantastic at), and she’s everyone else’s favorite pain in the ass. She can often be found speaking in quotes and giving you her unfiltered opinion, especially if you didn’t ask for it.